So many come through our doors asking for help, looking for a way to change their life for the better. Genuinely unhappy and WANTING so much for things to get better.
Why is it then, when it comes down to it – so many resist it. They put barriers up. Find reasons and excuses not to, and choose to stay exactly where they are.
Is it fear of change? What will our friends and family think and will I be treated differently? If our identity is wrapped up in what we look like – if it changes, then who are we? Our social environments are important to us – so in order to make life changes, often these things have to change, and that can be something many aren’t prepared to do.
Is it because the work required is too much? Our expectations sit around immediate gratification – so if we don’t see changes immediately, then we give up. Why? Perhaps we need to think of these changes more as a life change, rather than a 3 month challenge. Every time we commit ourselves to a class or a gym session, it’s just part of making long term changes that become part of what we do every week. Every time we go out and choose one drink instead of 4, it’s a commitment to yourself and your social network that you are committed to making better choices – long term.
Is it because we don’t want it enough? Sometimes we just think we want change, but do we want it enough to do the work required. Consistently. If we don’t have an emotional connection to our ‘why’, then it just becomes another thought. For me – I turned 45 this year. I think to myself – what kind of 55 year old do I want to be? My time on this earth is shortening every day. I want to know in 10 years, I’m still fit, healthy and committed to living my life with purpose.
Is it because it’s uncomfortable and confronting? If we set ourselves goals to achieve, we often give up before we have a chance to fail, so we can say we ‘chose’ to fail. We don’t try because we don’t want to fail by accident. Just so we can tell ourselves that it’s another thing we can’t succeed at. This is a real thing. People fail on purpose.
All of these things are reasons that we create. We actually have control of all of these things. None of those listed above are out of our control.
The reality is, it’s much more than a physical change that is required. First we need to work on the muscle that sits between our ears. The one that does all the work to sabotage our best intentions; that tries to keep us safe and comfortable. It tells us stories to avoid discomfort and keeps us from the resilience we need to keep going.
If you choose to ignore it just once a week and build on that then you are getting closer to the life you wish to live but are currently resisting.
If any of this resonates with you – give us a call. We can help you.
